Body love (& shame) in Bali
When I arrived in Bali last weekend I was feeling rather poorly with a blocked ear and fatigue. When I woke up on the first morning it was raining heavily and I was kind of relieved because I retired to my bed with a book. Once the sun came out, I thought a massage might make me feel better.
I got undressed and onto the table and the masseuse said to me, “You want this waxed?” while pulling the hair on the back of my thigh. Instantly I felt ten times worse than I already did. I know she was trying to drum up business and I shouldn’t take it personally, but I have spent a lifetime getting used to having a lot of body hair and this comment made me feel like crap.
Instantly my body shame for ALL of my body came flooding in. “You’ve let yourself go Emma. No wonder you’re single. You should do more exercise. You’re disgusting.” Yep, that’s where my brain went.
I’m lucky though because through my studies for health coaching, intuitive eating counselling and yoga I have learned that the way I look doesn’t reflect my health or my worth as a human. I quickly turned this moment of body shame into a teaching moment for myself.
I have chosen to not spend too much time on removing body hair. I have genetically dark, thick hair which takes more effort to remove. I have been through enough pain from endometriosis to not want to inflict more pain on myself. I’m also a woman who on average earns 80 cents of a man’s dollar so why should I spend my money on something that inflicts pain. Plus the time it takes is prohibitive to me. I’d much rather read a book. Does having hairless legs make me a better person? No!
(A quick note: this isn’t a judgement on anyone else who enages in hair removal. We are all different and that’s okay! But if there are grooming practices that you find tiresome, you can reconsider the effort you put into them at any time.)
I reminded myself that I have chosen to be single because I am really introverted (meaning I need a lot of alone time to recharge). I reminded myself that I have overcome a lot more than a little bit of body shaming! I reminded myself how much my body has done for me. Just think, my body (teaching yoga) has enabled me to take over 20 amazing women with me to Bali on retreat.
Not bad for an ageing, hairy, spinster! 🤣
Just so you know, I have never been body shamed anywhere else in Bali. In fact when I was asking our driver, Eddie, where to get clothes in my size he said, “Why do you need special sized clothes? You are normal size.” Thanks for the reminder, Eddie.
My Bali retreats are for anyone who would like to take time out for theselves not matter their size, age, or body hair status! If you’d like to know next year’s dates first, click here.
Yoga Pose of the Week
Side Angle - I almost always teach this pose in my class as part of a series of standing poses. This one challenges the strength in the legs while giving one one side of the body a really good stretch. To make it harder you might step your legs farther apart or you could take the and that’s resting on the leg to a block or the floor.
Yoga Philosophy of the Week
These are the amazing women on my retreat at the cafe around the corner from our villas. We have been practicing svadhyaya (Sanskrit for self-study) which is the yogic pursuit of learning and exploration. This includes studying sprititual texts (we’ve touched on this) and reflecting on personal experiences to deepen self knowledge.
Mindful Moment of the Week
While I was waiting for all of my retreat guests to arrive on Monday, I sat by the pool and contemplated everything it took to get me to that moment. The years of teaching yoga, the marketing, the planning, the travel. Everything. It’s important to take stock of what you’ve done to get where you are. As we come up to mid-year, it can be a good time for a review.
Body Love Tip of the Week
Even though I’ve been away this week, I had to keep up with Bridgerton, watching it on my laptop late into the night after we’d concluded retreat activities. It’s a small start, but finally we have representation on the screen of a woman with a body that is not the Hollywood “standard”. There are also other characters of different sizes, colours, sexual orientations and abilities. Definitely worth a watch (if you don’t mind a bit of raunch).
